Abbreviations show a clear lack of effort, say Debra Goldstein and Olivia Baniuszewicz, digital dating experts and co-authors of Flirtexting. “Texting is a casual platform, but you still have to be somewhat buttoned up.” So spelling at the level of a 7th grader neither charms nor entertains—unless you send, “Sup, u out?” This gem evokes laughter from all women—just at you, not with you. Eli Manning’s SNL sketch sums it up.

I’m not saying not to say edgy, funny, even risqué things through text—in fact, I encourage this. All I’m saying is keep it to the edgy, funny, and risqué things that actually come out of your mouth from time to time. Be willing to say those things again to her in person. It will work out great for you if you can develop a game where you can say gutsy statements through text and then back them up in person.


An oversimplified scenario goes like this: Your spouse strikes up an opposite-sex friendship with a person at work, spin or yoga class, the gym, or through your child's school or extra-curricular activities. For some reason, they feel compelled to exchange phone numbers. There's no real need for this, although your spouse tells you that they need to stay in touch because of work or to coordinate fitness class, the kids activities, etc.

What I started to do was just put my phone on silent and leave it on my charger, upside down. This way, it would charge, it would be on, and I would get the text message. However, I wouldn’t check my phone on any regular basis; instead, I’d just leave it in my room and go and do something else. This got it out of sight and out of mind for me so that I could focus my time on something more fun or productive.
Here's where anything can happen. Your spouse may downplay the relationship and shrug off your concerns, saying "We're just friends. You have to trust me." Or your spouse may react with an angry, inflated display of wounded indignation by saying, "Oh, so I'm not allowed to have ANY friends?" He or she may turn the situation around so that it's you who finds yourself explaining your behaviour. He or she may make you feel paranoid, jealous, controlling, or pathetic. "You went through my phone! You're crazy. That's private!"

But as this is the point where she did not get back to you and you decided to call (good decision, he gets a courage point). So what about this: Come up (instead of saying that you have been so busy) with a plan. (Think of the mammoth theory) – We LOVE men with plans. You could suggest to do some cool cultural or sportive or whatever thing, maybe you say you have tickets for something and would love to go with her. I think you make yourself more interesting like this. Theater, a cool party, indoor-climbing, black light Mini-Golf…whatever. (If you have talked to her you might have understood if she is sportive or culturally interested.) Generally girls don’t want to date “idiots” (whatever this means as a definition) so if you suggest to go to a museum (there are cool museums as well) or to some event like a vernissage or photographic exhibition she might think: “Uh, he has interesting hobbies and he wants to share this with me" (on top you will have this unforgettable first date and lots of stuff to talk about automatically – just don’t play paintball with her or other aggressive stuff – and if you do at least don’t laugh if you hit her).
Texting her right when you get her number is definitely the best way to make sure that she gave you the correct one. It also gets a message screen of your text popping up on her phone. When she gets this new text-message box, she’ll presumably add your name so that she knows who has texted her. This familiarizes you even more to her and sets up your future texts. She’s more likely to respond to the texts thereafter.
Lots of people have a misconception and feel that they need relationship counselling only when things get really bad. But no matter what situation you face in your relationship, our counsellors can be of help to you even if your problems seem trivial. It doesn’t matter if you are single, married, living together, gay or straight – we are here to help you. At Bonobology, we have a huge panel of Counselling Psychologists, Couple Therapists, Relationship Psychotherapists, Life Coaches, Relationship Coaches, Sex Relationship Experts, Divorce Lawyers, Sexologists and Psychoanalysts to help you with your relationship problems. Our counsellors assist you in a caring and supportive manner in order to help you find a way through the difficulties you may be facing in your relationship. You can be reassured that your name remains confidential if you want and receive a non-judgemental approach from our counsellors.

Hey, there’s this girl I’ve been causal with for a while- we kiss a lot and do some other stuff, but I was wondering how to try and take it to the next level, a lot of our interaction is texting, we only see each other two days a week, she likes me as she has said so, but when we text I always seem to be trying to come up with something to say to her, what should you talk about with a girl like this ? Also she does sometines text first but when we actaully text she only answers what I ask or say- she never contributed much to the conversation- any idea why that is ?
#1 Night time is the best time to text a girl. If the girl you like is comfortable with texting late into the night, you’ve already got the edge you need. Start by texting her late in the evening and look for ways to keep the conversation going when she slips into her bed. There’s something so sexy and romantic about a quiet night that’ll only work in your favor. [Read: How to flirt with a girl by behaving like a friend]
×