Hey, there’s this girl I’ve been causal with for a while- we kiss a lot and do some other stuff, but I was wondering how to try and take it to the next level, a lot of our interaction is texting, we only see each other two days a week, she likes me as she has said so, but when we text I always seem to be trying to come up with something to say to her, what should you talk about with a girl like this ? Also she does sometines text first but when we actaully text she only answers what I ask or say- she never contributed much to the conversation- any idea why that is ?
For example, if you want to tease a girl but not come across as being too serious, you can say something like “Julie! Where the hell have you been? It’s been forever since I’ve seen you :)” A text like this shows her that you’re inquiring about her and would like to know where she’s been lately. At the same time, though, you’re making a bit of a joke about her not being around, so it’s a good way to ask something semi-seriously while at the same time coming across as playful.
These habits carried over to text messaging, and as more and more adults started texting, some of them followed a lot of the same routines as the younger generation of texters had. They intentionally misspelled words, perhaps as a way of being cool or as a way of fitting into the social norm that was developed by the younger generation of texters. (This, of course, is all just a personal theory of mine; nonetheless, my hope is that this trend ultimately stops.)
When it comes to flirting with girls, everything is getting even harder, since it’s impossible to predict their reaction. You have to be 100% sure that the time and words are right. All we can do to help you write a good flirty SMS is to give a few nice examples of flirty text messages written specifically for ladies. But it’s only up to you to decide what to send your sweetheart, because you know her better.
Take note of how long your conversations last. If they're long, maybe even lasting a few hours, then there's a chance she likes you! If you think she's putting just as much effort into continuing the conversation as you are, that's also a good sign. Don't forget to take a break on always texting her first. If she texts you after a few days, then it could mean she longs for you to talk to her or she's thinking of you. If you can, see how much she texts or how much she usually texts other friends and see if you're special to her. Try to let her know that you text her more than other people if you can; it will make her feel special!
This example is just that, an example. It’s so much easier to come up with your own as this has no context for a real conversation and would be useless if you tried to duplicate it. Just try to understand the usefulness of “lol” here and there. Like anything else, don’t overdo it. Putting “lol” into every sentence, or even every few sentences, makes you look like a half-assed, not-so-funny, would-be comedian!
Know when it's time to end the conversation. If you want to keep your girl interested, then you should stop your texting sessions at the right time, or she'll get bored with your lengthy exchanges. Whether the girl seems busy or if you simply have nothing left to say: it's important to know when to stop texting her and try again later. Here are some signs that you should end the conversation:
Abbreviations show a clear lack of effort, say Debra Goldstein and Olivia Baniuszewicz, digital dating experts and co-authors of Flirtexting. “Texting is a casual platform, but you still have to be somewhat buttoned up.” So spelling at the level of a 7th grader neither charms nor entertains—unless you send, “Sup, u out?” This gem evokes laughter from all women—just at you, not with you. Eli Manning’s SNL sketch sums it up.
Text messages can give you an opportunity to know the married woman better. Therefore, do not just flirt with her via the messages, but also try to gain as much information as possible regarding her interests, her likes, dislikes and so on. If she did not turn up for the usual morning walk, ask her if she is unwell. She will feel that you care for her, even from a distance. Makes a huge plus.
But that's not always the case. Suspicions are often warranted. Anger, defensiveness and indignation may be covers for betrayal. Explanations may be just excuses. And all too often, a texting affair steals so much time, energy and emotion from a marriage that a rift forms -- or widens -- between spouses that otherwise would have worked through their marriage troubles.
Another important thing a text like this does is to make you seem like the one in control, not her. You show her that you’re strong enough to say something as challenging as this, stand by it, and put the ball back in her court to react to it. Finally, a text like this will most likely make her laugh. When she reads it and sees what an outlandish statement it is, she’ll probably laugh a little. It’s a funny line, and one she probably wouldn’t get too often from guys. (If she’s more of an uptight woman, go ahead and throw a “smiley face” or a “lol” at the end of it. You can also interchange the word “diddler” with any other noun of your liking—anything that you feel would be funny and challenging at the same time. I like this particular word because it really isn’t all that offending and blatantly comes across as a joke rather than something a little harsher that she might take the wrong way.)
A line like this is actually really effective and a lot more intricate than you might think. For one, it challenges the woman in question who’s been ignoring you, to hang out with you and not be a “diddler” like you’re suggesting she is. It also qualifies her, which is huge in game, and makes her want to hang out with you just to prove to you that she’s not what you’re calling her.
Very good point. I’d even add that “how r u, I want 2 meet u” does not vex me because I think it’s a childish way but because the guy shows me I am not worth for him to take the time to write “you”. I admit it’s creepy but generally if someone who is not a real friend writes to me at the end of a text LG instead on “Liebe Grüße” (German for kind regard) I think this person is lazy and does not really care about me (and each time I wonder: why do I think this? But I do!).
There’s no excuse for not sounding charming and hilarious over text. Limiting your conversations to lots of “haha!” and “cool” will lead her to believe that either you’re too lazy or just not funny—and that’s when your chances of scoring plummet. So throw out a line from Wedding Crashers or send a picture of Beauty and the Beast (“Us?”)—seriously, anything. Leave the simple texts for your mom.
Start with a warm and simple line that feels good to read. It leaves the conversation open and you’ll be able to know if she’s free to chat too. “Hi”, “Hey, what are you doing?” or even just a smiley face should work perfectly to start a conversation and bring a smile on her face. If she’s busy, she’ll tell you or respond when she has the time. There’s no way you can go wrong with that.