Justin Stenstrom is a nationally-acclaimed life coach, author, entrepreneur, and speaker. He is the Editor-in-Chief of EliteManMagazine.com, the founder of Elite Life Nutrition, and the host of the Elite Man Podcast, where he interviews some of the best self-help experts in the world, including guests like Robert Greene, Grant Cardone, Dr. John Gray, Bas Rutten, Dr. Dale Bredesen, Kevin Harrington and many others. Once anxious, insecure, depressed, and unhappy, Justin’s overcome many of life’s greatest obstacles and loves nothing more than helping others do the same! For a complete bio on Justin click here.
I’m telling you right now that, if you do anything resembling this, you will totally creep the woman out. You’ve probably done this before already, thinking that if you didn’t reply to her fast enough, she might lose attraction for you or she might be upset with you because you take too long and that might ruin your chances with her. It’s so common in game.
I would say that yes, it’s likely normal considering you pointed out that even though she is fluent in English, she isn’t well written. Perhaps she realizes this about herself and texting is a source of insecurity for her. If that is the case, I can assure you that she is spending more time analyzing her OWN behavior and response than she is thinking about how much time has passed since she responded. Secondly, how do you handle it? You don’t. Be patient with her. She’ll respond when she can. If you feel texting is really getting in the way of healthy communication, you do have her phone number and she indeed has a phone – pick it up and call her. A lot easier and much less confusing for everyone involved.
I say loosely followed here because you don’t want to always text her eleven minutes after she texts you if she usually takes about ten minutes to text you. If you develop a pattern of taking the same amount of time to text her every time you respond back, she’ll pick up on this and know that you are literally just waiting to text her. It’s nearly as bad as texting her right away.
The king of all texting fouls, “crack texting” —as Masters defines it—means sending multiple messages without any or equal response. Frequency is the most powerful component in her view of you. Inability to set the pace will make or break your situation. The rules to live by: one text at a time, take your time, and don’t answer her every text. Otherwise, expect her to delete your number.
They either try to play this super cool guy, who they really aren’t in person, or they’ll say really over-the-top things, really ballsy things, pretending like they’re that kind of guy. In person, they’re as quiet as a mouse and would never dare repeat any of the things they talked about in text messages. Basically, they’ll talk a big game but in no way at all can they even pretend to back it up in person.
What about this strategy: Be natural. Follow your instinct. If I text a guy and he does not respond fastly a couple of times I start not to respond fastly either as an act of revenge. This is odd but still true. So be available in the beginning (we don’t think you are creepy! We love it!) and if we are not responsive then (and only then) slow down. But don’t come up with patterns and rules – it really does not make sense, sorry. It is a very typical male thinking approach. Women’s brains don’t work like that – at least if they are > 15 years. If you want to play cards of brain usage and stereotypes and giving general gender according advise then man are rational and women are emotional. So no patterns for us. It’s true: mind the dosage – don’t stalk her. But if she is available be yourself.
When figuring out what to text a girl it can be tough to take your time texting a woman, especially when you’re really interested in her, and it seems counter-intuitive to think that by waiting (and potentially making her upset) you’re actually making her more interested in you. But it works. If she flips the script and takes forever to get back to you, and you (like I do) get anxious waiting for her reply, just put down your phone and do something fun.
HI Justin i’m new to seeing your stuff. i agree with you but i tried some things you’ve said that i tried for Online Dating.and nothing happens! i get NO response. Women only View me. i found something that had a affect. if a Woman removes her photo and it’s just a silhouette i say Sorry was it something i said? Holds*Head in Shame Lol* and the photo pops up or i say i see you looked at my profile and didn’t respond, was it my Brad Pitt looks or was it my soulful eye’s and this Woman was in my Inbox with the Heart showing love. i get NO responses but if i say the one about Brad Pitt that seems to have a affect. what is it that get’s A Woman to respond, on a Dating Site? i do a lot of research on what get’s A response. i see some good tips but the Women don’t respond, i like what you wrote. it seems that what Advice is being given does not work. or only so far. any Advice for a positive, outcome. i look forward to your message. Sincerely Dana!
Men seem to think they have to be interesting and cool all the time. This is defiantly not true. Of course we want a man, who is interesting and cool – cool with the others, not with us! Have you ever wondered why in fairy-tales princes have to do all the stuff like fighting dragons to get to a princess? Because she is worth it! So if right from the start you show us, we are not worth a thing, then where’s the point of getting to know you? Sorry, but you will never get a really cool girl-friend like that, but just some poor girl with no self-esteem. Again: what are you looking for? A desperate girl or a partner?
Abbreviations show a clear lack of effort, say Debra Goldstein and Olivia Baniuszewicz, digital dating experts and co-authors of Flirtexting. “Texting is a casual platform, but you still have to be somewhat buttoned up.” So spelling at the level of a 7th grader neither charms nor entertains—unless you send, “Sup, u out?” This gem evokes laughter from all women—just at you, not with you. Eli Manning’s SNL sketch sums it up.
When the question of what to text a girl comes up, smiley faces are good in my book. I like to use them here and there just to lighten things up with a woman. Some dating coaches wouldn’t recommend doing this, but I disagree. A proper smiley face can put more meaning to something you text. After all, when you send a text, you don’t really have the luxury of fully expressing yourself through voice tone and changes of body language the way you would in person. So sometimes, when you say something she might take as being serious through text, if you just throw in a smiley face at the end, it can completely change the mood of the text.
I could go on and on. Some of the advice in this post is okay in some sense, but most of it is pretty horrible. Always be yourself, don’t try and be someone you’re not to impress him/her because sooner or later it’ll come out. Work on your negatives E.G: Neediness, clingy, obsessiveness etc….And remember failing isn’t failing if you learn from it…that’s now called a win. I’m open to comments if people need some advice.
Be engaging. Show your girl that you're capable of keeping up a fun conversation over the phone. In turn, she'll think that you can hold up your end of a conversation in person. Your goal in texting the girl you like is giving her just a sliver of your personality and making her want more. If you fascinate the girl, she'll keep wanting to talk to you. Here's how to do it:
HI Justin that was a great article. most say all this stuff leading up to things and never giver the answer, you tell it all. so i know Online Dating is a bit different. and a hole other monster. but how does this apply to Online and how do you go about Online? i see you mention the longer you wait to get back to her the better it is for you. one time i did what you said and i was in the middle of typing A Woman trying to get that sent off. it said A Woman wants to Chat that i was trying to connect with then 15 minutes later or so she views me. when i finally went to her profile she was gone. she closed her account or deactivated it. it seems some Woman want you to reply right away.. i know every Woman is different. so how do you go about this and get great results? i have A Woman i’m connecting with..
When you send a blank text message and get an instant reply to it from the married woman, then it means she is definitely interested in you and wants to know you more. She may reply back with something like a ‘?’ or ‘Hey, did you send this to me by mistake?’ A blank text will give you an opportunity to initiate and shape the conversation, according to your desires and wishes.
Callback humor is talking about something you two discussed that was either funny or interesting. If it was something funny, you’d text her about whatever it was that made you laugh. Any type of text would work. All you’re really doing is bringing up the good emotions that were released with whatever that subject was that caused the humor, thus making her recall a pleasant memory and associating that memory with you.
Flirting is often used as a means of expressing and gauging romantic or sexual interest between two people. It can consist of conversation, body language, or brief physical contact. Flirting can be serious (with a potential partner) or naughty (with a friend). If you are in a mood to flirt with someone, be it your friend, then the collection of Flirt SMS, given here, would be useful to you. Send these text messages to the person with whom you want to flirt and have fun!