When the question of what to text a girl comes up, smiley faces are good in my book. I like to use them here and there just to lighten things up with a woman. Some dating coaches wouldn’t recommend doing this, but I disagree. A proper smiley face can put more meaning to something you text. After all, when you send a text, you don’t really have the luxury of fully expressing yourself through voice tone and changes of body language the way you would in person. So sometimes, when you say something she might take as being serious through text, if you just throw in a smiley face at the end, it can completely change the mood of the text.


Referring to someone you just met as “hun/sweetheart” seems borderline creepy to me. It’s too superficial. If I received this reference towards me in a text before even a second date, I would not answer, or if I answered I’d let the guy know “thanks but no thanks”. Perhaps that’s just me. Instead, in the first text you can just refer to me by my name. Subsequently, you don’t really need to address me directly, just say “Hey” then continue on with your text. After a couple of successful dates (meaning you were both smiling and/or laughing at times, and both seemed to enjoy the dates) the nicknames and cute references like “sweetheart” will feel more natural and fitting.
Abbreviations show a clear lack of effort, say Debra Goldstein and Olivia Baniuszewicz, digital dating experts and co-authors of Flirtexting. “Texting is a casual platform, but you still have to be somewhat buttoned up.” So spelling at the level of a 7th grader neither charms nor entertains—unless you send, “Sup, u out?” This gem evokes laughter from all women—just at you, not with you. Eli Manning’s SNL sketch sums it up.

Presumably, you’ll text her within a few hours as you really don’t want to wait too long here. Even if she didn’t respond to your first text with your name in it (because that was just your way of giving your number to her and familiarizes you more), you want to say something like, “Hey Katie, it was great to meet you today, can’t wait to grab a drink with you soon :)” Or, “Hey sweetheart, I had fun meeting you today, soooo can’t wait to go rollerblading tomorrow!”


I soon started setting aside periods of time throughout the day where I would just put my phone down for a couple of hours, whether or not I was in the midst of talking to a woman, just to give myself a rest from it. If someone called or texted me, I wouldn’t know, so I wouldn’t care. I’d simply check my phone later on for missed calls or messages, when I was ready to have it at hand again.
I would say that yes, it’s likely normal considering you pointed out that even though she is fluent in English, she isn’t well written. Perhaps she realizes this about herself and texting is a source of insecurity for her. If that is the case, I can assure you that she is spending more time analyzing her OWN behavior and response than she is thinking about how much time has passed since she responded. Secondly, how do you handle it? You don’t. Be patient with her. She’ll respond when she can. If you feel texting is really getting in the way of healthy communication, you do have her phone number and she indeed has a phone – pick it up and call her. A lot easier and much less confusing for everyone involved.
Hey guys, im having trouble, a lot… So, there’s this girl, she’s older than me, just one year, but we are 15-16 so it looks weird, but still, she was my best friend when i was about 13, i started texting her again, and on school she usually looks at me and throws me kisses, hugs me every morning, so yeah, i text her, but its too hard, she’s too reserved, so i talked to her why she was like that with me, she told me “i don’t like texting too much, i preffer calls” , but everytime i call her she’s busy or with her friends… when i text her something funny or a fact, she answers with “jajaja”, I know alot about her and she knows a lot about me, but its hard to keep a conversation with her, i don’t know what to ask… Any help? Thanks!
Even though flirting is a big part of dating, it’s often easier said than done. Will you say the wrong thing? Will you come off as cheesy? Will they misinterpret your motives? And flirting over text message can be even harder, considering your crush can’t hear your tone or see your facial expression. But there are actually a lot of positives to flirting over text. For starters, you can take your time to say the perfect thing. And the barrier may actually allow you to open up more than you would in person.
×