Abbreviations show a clear lack of effort, say Debra Goldstein and Olivia Baniuszewicz, digital dating experts and co-authors of Flirtexting. “Texting is a casual platform, but you still have to be somewhat buttoned up.” So spelling at the level of a 7th grader neither charms nor entertains—unless you send, “Sup, u out?” This gem evokes laughter from all women—just at you, not with you. Eli Manning’s SNL sketch sums it up.
I say loosely followed here because you don’t want to always text her eleven minutes after she texts you if she usually takes about ten minutes to text you. If you develop a pattern of taking the same amount of time to text her every time you respond back, she’ll pick up on this and know that you are literally just waiting to text her. It’s nearly as bad as texting her right away.
My only remark: I’d personally not wish to hear that he is soooo busy and has been too busy to call me before (see above – oh, this might be the reason why I have not answered your texts 😉) but I understand the intention to be not romantic but “laid back”, if I’d walk in your shoes. But from a girl’s perspective: you want to be laid back… why again? Because you feel like an idiot if she says no? And then you can say “Oh I really was not interested and just called because I was bored”. (?) No, really I personally don’t get it. From my experience guys who really dare, expose and are courageous are always appreciated more than these “cool/busy guys” (girls know instinctively if you are REALLY busy or just making it up to seem more interesting 😉 – trust me on this, we have to care for babies – instinct is our job). So don’t be afraid, after all men want sex, OK got it, but girls want sex, too – so what’s the point. It’s OK to ask a date. If she says no she is not worth it since she does not SEE you – another girl will, don’t worry.
Referring to someone you just met as “hun/sweetheart” seems borderline creepy to me. It’s too superficial. If I received this reference towards me in a text before even a second date, I would not answer, or if I answered I’d let the guy know “thanks but no thanks”. Perhaps that’s just me. Instead, in the first text you can just refer to me by my name. Subsequently, you don’t really need to address me directly, just say “Hey” then continue on with your text. After a couple of successful dates (meaning you were both smiling and/or laughing at times, and both seemed to enjoy the dates) the nicknames and cute references like “sweetheart” will feel more natural and fitting.

Using “lol” is a similar thing I like to do and recommend. It’s basically the same idea as the smiley face and can also be used to lighten the mood. A good “lol” placed in a text message shows a woman you’re making a joke. It’s not literally meant to mean that you’re “laughing out loud,” but it has transformed more into meaning that you’re joking or find something funny. (The same thing could be said for using “haha” as this is interchangeable with “lol.”)
Hey, there’s this girl I’ve been causal with for a while- we kiss a lot and do some other stuff, but I was wondering how to try and take it to the next level, a lot of our interaction is texting, we only see each other two days a week, she likes me as she has said so, but when we text I always seem to be trying to come up with something to say to her, what should you talk about with a girl like this ? Also she does sometines text first but when we actaully text she only answers what I ask or say- she never contributed much to the conversation- any idea why that is ?
Hi, I appreciate you taking your time in writing this article, but there is one thing I want to critique. Being a girl myself I hate it when guys ignore/don’t read my texts, playing hard to get is fine, but don’t play hard to get over texts. My friend dumped her boyfriend because he ignored her texts for weeks. If you want to wait a while before texting, only wait a day or two. I agree with basically everything else. Good job.
Even though flirting is a big part of dating, it’s often easier said than done. Will you say the wrong thing? Will you come off as cheesy? Will they misinterpret your motives? And flirting over text message can be even harder, considering your crush can’t hear your tone or see your facial expression. But there are actually a lot of positives to flirting over text. For starters, you can take your time to say the perfect thing. And the barrier may actually allow you to open up more than you would in person.
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