I’m not saying not to say edgy, funny, even risqué things through text—in fact, I encourage this. All I’m saying is keep it to the edgy, funny, and risqué things that actually come out of your mouth from time to time. Be willing to say those things again to her in person. It will work out great for you if you can develop a game where you can say gutsy statements through text and then back them up in person.
After all, no one knows your marriage or your spouse better than you do. Texting affairs are the gateway to emotional and physical affairs. Of the infidelity cases I've dealt with in the past several years, the vast majority started out as "innocent" texting between opposite-sex friends or acquaintances. You are not over-reacting by insisting that a spouse end a texting relationship that you feel in your heart is undermining your marriage, and you are not over-reacting by treating it as a form of infidelity.
If she takes, say, half an hour to reply back to your initial text, and you reply within a minute or two of her response, you come off as very needy. (You also come off as a bit creepy, like you were just staring at your phone like some kind of Fatal Attraction-type character, just waiting for her to answer you, and when she did, you answered her right away.)
For example, if you want to tease a girl but not come across as being too serious, you can say something like “Julie! Where the hell have you been? It’s been forever since I’ve seen you :)” A text like this shows her that you’re inquiring about her and would like to know where she’s been lately. At the same time, though, you’re making a bit of a joke about her not being around, so it’s a good way to ask something semi-seriously while at the same time coming across as playful.
I’m 14 and I tried this on a girl who I deeply loved. She’s my neighbor too!!! I’m shy of talking to girls I like and try to stay as far away from them as possible. So I got a Facebook when I turned 13 (I would have gotten it earlier but my parents wouldn’t let me) and it automatically downloaded her phone number into my address book on my phone. Jackpot I thought. So I started texting her using these steps and there was no response. So I tried step #12 and I finally got a response. “Keep dreaming, Gabe. Keep dreaming.” So I rate it a 1 out of 1,000,000,000!!!!
Both of these examples show her that you have other plans and other things on your plate. They put more value on your time and make her want to spend some of hers with you. They also give you a good idea about what her schedule is like and when she will be available to hang out. From there, you can just pick one of the days she’s free and set up a time, place, and activity.
When figuring out what to text a girl it can be tough to take your time texting a woman, especially when you’re really interested in her, and it seems counter-intuitive to think that by waiting (and potentially making her upset) you’re actually making her more interested in you. But it works. If she flips the script and takes forever to get back to you, and you (like I do) get anxious waiting for her reply, just put down your phone and do something fun.
A lot of these one liners are really good for text messages, but you really need to do a lot more than just a one liner to set yourself apart from the rest. Remember, today’s dating world is fiercely competitive and guys are up against a lot of other guys competing for the same girl all because it’s so convenient to get in touch with one another. Online dating is just making the situation even worse, when anyone with a selfie can sign up and get spammed by hundreds of suitors in a few seconds. Keep these in reserve for after you get to know someone. The funnier ones especially: who doesn’t like to laugh?