Hey, there’s this girl I’ve been causal with for a while- we kiss a lot and do some other stuff, but I was wondering how to try and take it to the next level, a lot of our interaction is texting, we only see each other two days a week, she likes me as she has said so, but when we text I always seem to be trying to come up with something to say to her, what should you talk about with a girl like this ? Also she does sometines text first but when we actaully text she only answers what I ask or say- she never contributed much to the conversation- any idea why that is ?
Using “lol” is a similar thing I like to do and recommend. It’s basically the same idea as the smiley face and can also be used to lighten the mood. A good “lol” placed in a text message shows a woman you’re making a joke. It’s not literally meant to mean that you’re “laughing out loud,” but it has transformed more into meaning that you’re joking or find something funny. (The same thing could be said for using “haha” as this is interchangeable with “lol.”)
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To lighten the mood again for something that seems serious, you might say to a woman, “Yeah, I just got home from the gym. They had to kick me out because I started lifting up the side of the building lol.” Just saying something ridiculous like this could get a laugh out of her, and the placement of that “lol” at the end of the sentence clearly tells her you’re joking around as opposed to just being weird. Take that “lol” out of the sentence, and it really just comes across as strange. But when you keep it in, it shows that you’re just making a joke out of something boring.
Another thing you could say is, “Hey, Julie, how are you? Haven’t talked to you in a while, been wicked busy lately, but I’m getting some time off this week and would love to hear from you!” Something like this shows her that you’re busy but again opens the door for her to message you. You always want to seem like you’ve been doing a lot of things but at the same time are messaging her because you’re getting some time off and would like to spend a bit of it with her.
My only remark: I’d personally not wish to hear that he is soooo busy and has been too busy to call me before (see above – oh, this might be the reason why I have not answered your texts 😉) but I understand the intention to be not romantic but “laid back”, if I’d walk in your shoes. But from a girl’s perspective: you want to be laid back… why again? Because you feel like an idiot if she says no? And then you can say “Oh I really was not interested and just called because I was bored”. (?) No, really I personally don’t get it. From my experience guys who really dare, expose and are courageous are always appreciated more than these “cool/busy guys” (girls know instinctively if you are REALLY busy or just making it up to seem more interesting 😉 – trust me on this, we have to care for babies – instinct is our job). So don’t be afraid, after all men want sex, OK got it, but girls want sex, too – so what’s the point. It’s OK to ask a date. If she says no she is not worth it since she does not SEE you – another girl will, don’t worry.
Even though flirting is a big part of dating, it’s often easier said than done. Will you say the wrong thing? Will you come off as cheesy? Will they misinterpret your motives? And flirting over text message can be even harder, considering your crush can’t hear your tone or see your facial expression. But there are actually a lot of positives to flirting over text. For starters, you can take your time to say the perfect thing. And the barrier may actually allow you to open up more than you would in person.
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