Hey, there’s this girl I’ve been causal with for a while- we kiss a lot and do some other stuff, but I was wondering how to try and take it to the next level, a lot of our interaction is texting, we only see each other two days a week, she likes me as she has said so, but when we text I always seem to be trying to come up with something to say to her, what should you talk about with a girl like this ? Also she does sometines text first but when we actaully text she only answers what I ask or say- she never contributed much to the conversation- any idea why that is ?

You all seem way too needy. It’s okay though, we all get that sometimes. Work on improving yourself first, before you try and bring another person into your life. Sure, easier said than done and we all sometimes crave the opposite sex. it’s natural. But overthinking and over analyzing every little thing you say, or every little thing she/he says is slowly killing your chances. This is hard to overcome, I, myself am still working on it constantly.
Gah it doesn’t work on this girl, I did everything here, and I did it before even looking for this site, still she doesn’t seem that interested even tho we have a lot of things in common, both hobbies and personality. And I don’t think she is out of my league lol cuz she isn’t exactly megan fox…. she said she is too busy, and can only talk once a week from now on.. now I have to sit here just waiting…waiting…waiting… waiting.. and I dunno if she just said shes busy to get rid of me 🙂

I could go on and on. Some of the advice in this post is okay in some sense, but most of it is pretty horrible. Always be yourself, don’t try and be someone you’re not to impress him/her because sooner or later it’ll come out. Work on your negatives E.G: Neediness, clingy, obsessiveness etc….And remember failing isn’t failing if you learn from it…that’s now called a win. I’m open to comments if people need some advice.
Very good point. I’d even add that “how r u, I want 2 meet u” does not vex me because I think it’s a childish way but because the guy shows me I am not worth for him to take the time to write “you”. I admit it’s creepy but generally if someone who is not a real friend writes to me at the end of a text LG instead on “Liebe Grüße” (German for kind regard) I think this person is lazy and does not really care about me (and each time I wonder: why do I think this? But I do!).

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Texting her to meet up with you is pretty straightforward. You want to initiate a conversation before just asking if she wants to hang out with you. You want to text her, get a couple of texts going back and forth, and then text her about meeting up. For the first text with a girl, you want whenever possible to bring back what’s known in the dating world as “callback humor.”


Texting a married woman is not a cakewalk. First, you have to muster up the courage to text her, after getting her number. That again might be tough for you because married women rarely share their numbers with people outside their immediate social circles. Then. through your text messages, you have to show her that you are worth her attention and time. Text messages sent to her might actually be the only means of creating a lasting first impression on her. Once she starts to get into a habit of reading texts from you, she’s find it hard to let you go. Thus, follow these 20 ways of seducing a married woman with text messages, to excel in the art of seduction via texts.

Abbreviations show a clear lack of effort, say Debra Goldstein and Olivia Baniuszewicz, digital dating experts and co-authors of Flirtexting. “Texting is a casual platform, but you still have to be somewhat buttoned up.” So spelling at the level of a 7th grader neither charms nor entertains—unless you send, “Sup, u out?” This gem evokes laughter from all women—just at you, not with you. Eli Manning’s SNL sketch sums it up.
That’s right, don’t toss it out completely. Like I said, she might just be under the weather, having a bad day, still getting over a recent break-up, or be completely stressed and busy with work. Stop your attempts for maybe a week or two and then retry again. A lot of the time this reattempt works perfectly and you can pick-up right where you left off.

On the day of the date, you want to shoot her a text, preferably early in the day and long before you’re going to meet up. This ensures you that it’s still on and tells her that you’re still in. She’s most likely doing the same thing that you are: waiting for that text so that you both know for sure that you’re both still in and not going to flake. By doing this, you almost guarantee a no-flake scenario between the two of you.
Here's where anything can happen. Your spouse may downplay the relationship and shrug off your concerns, saying "We're just friends. You have to trust me." Or your spouse may react with an angry, inflated display of wounded indignation by saying, "Oh, so I'm not allowed to have ANY friends?" He or she may turn the situation around so that it's you who finds yourself explaining your behaviour. He or she may make you feel paranoid, jealous, controlling, or pathetic. "You went through my phone! You're crazy. That's private!"
Instead of the first message, perhaps make a reference to your first meeting. Maybe something like “Those whiskey sours at the bar were so good, weren’t they? Looking forward to having drinks soon” – that is if you both happened to be drinking whiskey sours when you met, but the point is to make a reference to where you met/something you were doing in common, but make it brief…you don’t want to go too into details and come across as stalkerish!
Both of these examples show her that you have other plans and other things on your plate. They put more value on your time and make her want to spend some of hers with you. They also give you a good idea about what her schedule is like and when she will be available to hang out. From there, you can just pick one of the days she’s free and set up a time, place, and activity.
Another technique you can use if she doesn’t answer the two texts you’ve most likely sent her is to do what they used to do in the olden days—call her! Yes, you heard me correctly. Just pick up your phone, dial her number, and press the little green PHONE icon once. Call her, for Christ’s sake! This should most likely be done approximately a week or two later, after she did not reply back to your two texts.

Presumably, you’ll text her within a few hours as you really don’t want to wait too long here. Even if she didn’t respond to your first text with your name in it (because that was just your way of giving your number to her and familiarizes you more), you want to say something like, “Hey Katie, it was great to meet you today, can’t wait to grab a drink with you soon :)” Or, “Hey sweetheart, I had fun meeting you today, soooo can’t wait to go rollerblading tomorrow!”
You all seem way too needy. It’s okay though, we all get that sometimes. Work on improving yourself first, before you try and bring another person into your life. Sure, easier said than done and we all sometimes crave the opposite sex. it’s natural. But overthinking and over analyzing every little thing you say, or every little thing she/he says is slowly killing your chances. This is hard to overcome, I, myself am still working on it constantly.

I just read your whole book last night, and I never felt so enlightened in all my life. There were so many things in it I realized before, but I never believed before I read your book. Then I thought about it and realized that way you said guys should act is the exact same way my friends who score a lot act. Thanks a lot for writing it, if you are ever in Pittsburgh I’ll buy you a beer (but no kissing)…
My only remark: I’d personally not wish to hear that he is soooo busy and has been too busy to call me before (see above – oh, this might be the reason why I have not answered your texts 😉) but I understand the intention to be not romantic but “laid back”, if I’d walk in your shoes. But from a girl’s perspective: you want to be laid back… why again? Because you feel like an idiot if she says no? And then you can say “Oh I really was not interested and just called because I was bored”. (?) No, really I personally don’t get it. From my experience guys who really dare, expose and are courageous are always appreciated more than these “cool/busy guys” (girls know instinctively if you are REALLY busy or just making it up to seem more interesting 😉 – trust me on this, we have to care for babies – instinct is our job). So don’t be afraid, after all men want sex, OK got it, but girls want sex, too – so what’s the point. It’s OK to ask a date. If she says no she is not worth it since she does not SEE you – another girl will, don’t worry.

HI Justin that was a great article. most say all this stuff leading up to things and never giver the answer, you tell it all. so i know Online Dating is a bit different. and a hole other monster. but how does this apply to Online and how do you go about Online? i see you mention the longer you wait to get back to her the better it is for you. one time i did what you said and i was in the middle of typing A Woman trying to get that sent off. it said A Woman wants to Chat that i was trying to connect with then 15 minutes later or so she views me. when i finally went to her profile she was gone. she closed her account or deactivated it. it seems some Woman want you to reply right away.. i know every Woman is different. so how do you go about this and get great results? i have A Woman i’m connecting with..
Be engaging. Show your girl that you're capable of keeping up a fun conversation over the phone. In turn, she'll think that you can hold up your end of a conversation in person. Your goal in texting the girl you like is giving her just a sliver of your personality and making her want more. If you fascinate the girl, she'll keep wanting to talk to you. Here's how to do it:
Using “lol” is a similar thing I like to do and recommend. It’s basically the same idea as the smiley face and can also be used to lighten the mood. A good “lol” placed in a text message shows a woman you’re making a joke. It’s not literally meant to mean that you’re “laughing out loud,” but it has transformed more into meaning that you’re joking or find something funny. (The same thing could be said for using “haha” as this is interchangeable with “lol.”)
There’s no excuse for not sounding charming and hilarious over text. Limiting your conversations to lots of “haha!” and “cool” will lead her to believe that either you’re too lazy or just not funny—and that’s when your chances of scoring plummet. So throw out a line from Wedding Crashers or send a picture of Beauty and the Beast (“Us?”)—seriously, anything. Leave the simple texts for your mom.
Flirting is often used as a means of expressing and gauging romantic or sexual interest between two people. It can consist of conversation, body language, or brief physical contact. Flirting can be serious (with a potential partner) or naughty (with a friend). If you are in a mood to flirt with someone, be it your friend, then the collection of Flirt SMS, given here, would be useful to you. Send these text messages to the person with whom you want to flirt and have fun!
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