An oversimplified scenario goes like this: Your spouse strikes up an opposite-sex friendship with a person at work, spin or yoga class, the gym, or through your child's school or extra-curricular activities. For some reason, they feel compelled to exchange phone numbers. There's no real need for this, although your spouse tells you that they need to stay in touch because of work or to coordinate fitness class, the kids activities, etc.
Hi, I like this girl but it seems like m in her friendz zone. I also doubt that she’s into some relationship. as i have managed to get her number, i want to knw what exactly to text her. the method of eye contact u mentioned in reply to Ryle’s comment was tried by me but did not work. How is that it didn’t work for me?? Plz Help! I’ll call U on my wedding 😉
Another quick point about keeping her interested has to do with texting her after you’ve set up a time to hang out together. Some guys (and I did this a lot when I first started getting good with game) will stop texting her after the date is set up. This is not a good move because, like everything else mentioned before, the woman loses interest. Her chances of flaking out go up astronomically when you do something like this. A simple text of “How’s your day going, sweetheart? I hope it’s as much fun as mine is today :)” will suffice in that time between the day you set up the date and the day of it.
#1 Night time is the best time to text a girl. If the girl you like is comfortable with texting late into the night, you’ve already got the edge you need. Start by texting her late in the evening and look for ways to keep the conversation going when she slips into her bed. There’s something so sexy and romantic about a quiet night that’ll only work in your favor. [Read: How to flirt with a girl by behaving like a friend]

You all seem way too needy. It’s okay though, we all get that sometimes. Work on improving yourself first, before you try and bring another person into your life. Sure, easier said than done and we all sometimes crave the opposite sex. it’s natural. But overthinking and over analyzing every little thing you say, or every little thing she/he says is slowly killing your chances. This is hard to overcome, I, myself am still working on it constantly.


HI Justin that was a great article. most say all this stuff leading up to things and never giver the answer, you tell it all. so i know Online Dating is a bit different. and a hole other monster. but how does this apply to Online and how do you go about Online? i see you mention the longer you wait to get back to her the better it is for you. one time i did what you said and i was in the middle of typing A Woman trying to get that sent off. it said A Woman wants to Chat that i was trying to connect with then 15 minutes later or so she views me. when i finally went to her profile she was gone. she closed her account or deactivated it. it seems some Woman want you to reply right away.. i know every Woman is different. so how do you go about this and get great results? i have A Woman i’m connecting with..
Know when it's time to end the conversation. If you want to keep your girl interested, then you should stop your texting sessions at the right time, or she'll get bored with your lengthy exchanges. Whether the girl seems busy or if you simply have nothing left to say: it's important to know when to stop texting her and try again later. Here are some signs that you should end the conversation:[4]
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Could there please be a blog post on how to apply the principles of being feminine and high value to a long term live-in relationship? I love this blog, and it’s helped me so much (thanks Kat!), I just haven’t seen much on this topic and would love to learn more (I also am pretty broke right now, so reading the blog is all I can afford at this time, even though I have bought the book).
This last text technique has really worked well in the past for me and for my students. Basically, you want to qualify her and call her out in a funny way for not wanting to hang out with you. You can say something like, “What’s up sweetheart? Are you going to hang out this week, or are you going to keep being a Diddler?” Now, before you laugh and say, what a ridiculous thing to say, hear me out.
These habits carried over to text messaging, and as more and more adults started texting, some of them followed a lot of the same routines as the younger generation of texters had. They intentionally misspelled words, perhaps as a way of being cool or as a way of fitting into the social norm that was developed by the younger generation of texters. (This, of course, is all just a personal theory of mine; nonetheless, my hope is that this trend ultimately stops.)
Instead of the first message, perhaps make a reference to your first meeting. Maybe something like “Those whiskey sours at the bar were so good, weren’t they? Looking forward to having drinks soon” – that is if you both happened to be drinking whiskey sours when you met, but the point is to make a reference to where you met/something you were doing in common, but make it brief…you don’t want to go too into details and come across as stalkerish!
Be engaging. Show your girl that you're capable of keeping up a fun conversation over the phone. In turn, she'll think that you can hold up your end of a conversation in person. Your goal in texting the girl you like is giving her just a sliver of your personality and making her want more. If you fascinate the girl, she'll keep wanting to talk to you. Here's how to do it:
I’m telling you right now that, if you do anything resembling this, you will totally creep the woman out. You’ve probably done this before already, thinking that if you didn’t reply to her fast enough, she might lose attraction for you or she might be upset with you because you take too long and that might ruin your chances with her. It’s so common in game.
What about this strategy: Be natural. Follow your instinct. If I text a guy and he does not respond fastly a couple of times I start not to respond fastly either as an act of revenge. This is odd but still true. So be available in the beginning (we don’t think you are creepy! We love it!) and if we are not responsive then (and only then) slow down. But don’t come up with patterns and rules – it really does not make sense, sorry. It is a very typical male thinking approach. Women’s brains don’t work like that – at least if they are > 15 years. If you want to play cards of brain usage and stereotypes and giving general gender according advise then man are rational and women are emotional. So no patterns for us. It’s true: mind the dosage – don’t stalk her. But if she is available be yourself.
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To lighten the mood again for something that seems serious, you might say to a woman, “Yeah, I just got home from the gym. They had to kick me out because I started lifting up the side of the building lol.” Just saying something ridiculous like this could get a laugh out of her, and the placement of that “lol” at the end of the sentence clearly tells her you’re joking around as opposed to just being weird. Take that “lol” out of the sentence, and it really just comes across as strange. But when you keep it in, it shows that you’re just making a joke out of something boring.
My only remark: I’d personally not wish to hear that he is soooo busy and has been too busy to call me before (see above – oh, this might be the reason why I have not answered your texts 😉) but I understand the intention to be not romantic but “laid back”, if I’d walk in your shoes. But from a girl’s perspective: you want to be laid back… why again? Because you feel like an idiot if she says no? And then you can say “Oh I really was not interested and just called because I was bored”. (?) No, really I personally don’t get it. From my experience guys who really dare, expose and are courageous are always appreciated more than these “cool/busy guys” (girls know instinctively if you are REALLY busy or just making it up to seem more interesting 😉 – trust me on this, we have to care for babies – instinct is our job). So don’t be afraid, after all men want sex, OK got it, but girls want sex, too – so what’s the point. It’s OK to ask a date. If she says no she is not worth it since she does not SEE you – another girl will, don’t worry.
Don't try too hard. If you're trying too hard when you're first texting a girl, she'll be able to tell right away. Remember to be yourself and don't go out of your way to say something that doesn't even sound like you just because you think it will impress her. The worst part about trying too hard is that the girl will be able to tell that you're doing it right away.
Abbreviations show a clear lack of effort, say Debra Goldstein and Olivia Baniuszewicz, digital dating experts and co-authors of Flirtexting. “Texting is a casual platform, but you still have to be somewhat buttoned up.” So spelling at the level of a 7th grader neither charms nor entertains—unless you send, “Sup, u out?” This gem evokes laughter from all women—just at you, not with you. Eli Manning’s SNL sketch sums it up.
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What I started to do was just put my phone on silent and leave it on my charger, upside down. This way, it would charge, it would be on, and I would get the text message. However, I wouldn’t check my phone on any regular basis; instead, I’d just leave it in my room and go and do something else. This got it out of sight and out of mind for me so that I could focus my time on something more fun or productive.
For a while, you bite your tongue. After all, nobody wants to be "that wife" or "that husband." You look the other way and pretend not to notice or be bothered. You force yourself to not ask who your spouse is texting and not show how worried or hurt you are. You lay awake and stare at your partner's phone, wishing you could look through it but not wanting to cross that line.
But that's not always the case. Suspicions are often warranted. Anger, defensiveness and indignation may be covers for betrayal. Explanations may be just excuses. And all too often, a texting affair steals so much time, energy and emotion from a marriage that a rift forms -- or widens -- between spouses that otherwise would have worked through their marriage troubles.
An oversimplified scenario goes like this: Your spouse strikes up an opposite-sex friendship with a person at work, spin or yoga class, the gym, or through your child's school or extra-curricular activities. For some reason, they feel compelled to exchange phone numbers. There's no real need for this, although your spouse tells you that they need to stay in touch because of work or to coordinate fitness class, the kids activities, etc.
Men seem to think they have to be interesting and cool all the time. This is defiantly not true. Of course we want a man, who is interesting and cool – cool with the others, not with us! Have you ever wondered why in fairy-tales princes have to do all the stuff like fighting dragons to get to a princess? Because she is worth it! So if right from the start you show us, we are not worth a thing, then where’s the point of getting to know you? Sorry, but you will never get a really cool girl-friend like that, but just some poor girl with no self-esteem. Again: what are you looking for? A desperate girl or a partner?

Hey guys, im having trouble, a lot… So, there’s this girl, she’s older than me, just one year, but we are 15-16 so it looks weird, but still, she was my best friend when i was about 13, i started texting her again, and on school she usually looks at me and throws me kisses, hugs me every morning, so yeah, i text her, but its too hard, she’s too reserved, so i talked to her why she was like that with me, she told me “i don’t like texting too much, i preffer calls” , but everytime i call her she’s busy or with her friends… when i text her something funny or a fact, she answers with “jajaja”, I know alot about her and she knows a lot about me, but its hard to keep a conversation with her, i don’t know what to ask… Any help? Thanks!
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