Abbreviations show a clear lack of effort, say Debra Goldstein and Olivia Baniuszewicz, digital dating experts and co-authors of Flirtexting. “Texting is a casual platform, but you still have to be somewhat buttoned up.” So spelling at the level of a 7th grader neither charms nor entertains—unless you send, “Sup, u out?” This gem evokes laughter from all women—just at you, not with you. Eli Manning’s SNL sketch sums it up.
After you’ve gotten a woman’s number, the game really just begins. When figuring out what to text a girl you must keep the same principles of attraction and good game in your text messages. Some guys think that, because they have the number, they can easily set up a date and then just end up sleeping with a woman, but it doesn’t work that way. You still have to use all of your other skills and keep her attracted to you, or she’ll completely lose interest and stop answering you and maybe even not show up.
For a while, you bite your tongue. After all, nobody wants to be "that wife" or "that husband." You look the other way and pretend not to notice or be bothered. You force yourself to not ask who your spouse is texting and not show how worried or hurt you are. You lay awake and stare at your partner's phone, wishing you could look through it but not wanting to cross that line.
Choosing your words carefully, you ask your partner who he or she is texting. If you already know who it is, you might tell your partner that you are concerned or feeling second-place. Or perhaps you wait until your partner is in the shower and give in to the urge to scroll through his or her phone. Either way, you hear or see something that makes your stomach sink.
Sending flirty texts lets someone know that they’re on your mind. It opens up the conversation and, ideally, helps set up your next date. Still, what should you say in a flirty text? You want to come off as confident but not overbearing; funny but not cheesy. Don’t overthink it, and keep it short and sweet. Trust us, these flirty texts will lead to longer conversations.
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Start with a warm and simple line that feels good to read. It leaves the conversation open and you’ll be able to know if she’s free to chat too. “Hi”, “Hey, what are you doing?” or even just a smiley face should work perfectly to start a conversation and bring a smile on her face. If she’s busy, she’ll tell you or respond when she has the time. There’s no way you can go wrong with that.

I would say that yes, it’s likely normal considering you pointed out that even though she is fluent in English, she isn’t well written. Perhaps she realizes this about herself and texting is a source of insecurity for her. If that is the case, I can assure you that she is spending more time analyzing her OWN behavior and response than she is thinking about how much time has passed since she responded. Secondly, how do you handle it? You don’t. Be patient with her. She’ll respond when she can. If you feel texting is really getting in the way of healthy communication, you do have her phone number and she indeed has a phone – pick it up and call her. A lot easier and much less confusing for everyone involved.
I would say that yes, it’s likely normal considering you pointed out that even though she is fluent in English, she isn’t well written. Perhaps she realizes this about herself and texting is a source of insecurity for her. If that is the case, I can assure you that she is spending more time analyzing her OWN behavior and response than she is thinking about how much time has passed since she responded. Secondly, how do you handle it? You don’t. Be patient with her. She’ll respond when she can. If you feel texting is really getting in the way of healthy communication, you do have her phone number and she indeed has a phone – pick it up and call her. A lot easier and much less confusing for everyone involved.
After you’ve gotten a woman’s number, the game really just begins. When figuring out what to text a girl you must keep the same principles of attraction and good game in your text messages. Some guys think that, because they have the number, they can easily set up a date and then just end up sleeping with a woman, but it doesn’t work that way. You still have to use all of your other skills and keep her attracted to you, or she’ll completely lose interest and stop answering you and maybe even not show up.
So summon your coolest, manliest voice, and dial the phone. Don’t have a fake voice, but have your best one ready when you hear that beep and leave your message, something along the lines of, “Hey, Ashley, I’ve been really busy the last week or so. I’ve been jammed with work and everything else. I’m finally going to have some time off soon! I figured I’d drop you a line and see how you were doing. Talk to you soon. Bye!”
Hi, I appreciate you taking your time in writing this article, but there is one thing I want to critique. Being a girl myself I hate it when guys ignore/don’t read my texts, playing hard to get is fine, but don’t play hard to get over texts. My friend dumped her boyfriend because he ignored her texts for weeks. If you want to wait a while before texting, only wait a day or two. I agree with basically everything else. Good job.

It seems as if i am following the right path, but who has time for slight slick moves.its a waste of time for us both and alot of pressure. I have other friends but it dont matter among the situation of us two always communicating and hanging out. (Texting and sharing) my confidence is well known but she see me for some reason as a close brother, not. What do I do next? I tried staying away off the scene for a while as if ive been out somewhere, not.I tried waiting five minutes before texting back. Im say she maybe wants secure-ness. Can you or any one level me on the next step without outbreaks.
I’d recommend not to wait to long to text the first time, either. Generally there is also nothing wrong about picking up the phone and just call! Seriously. We like guys with guts, texting all the time is – sorry – girlish – and this article shows you are over-strained with it 😉 – as first mover you chose your terrain, move where you feel comfortable. Be present, be there, show up, expose, we like to hear your voices.
Hey guys, im kinda havin the same problem with this girl I really like. I took her to homecoming and I’ve been trying to meet up to hang out or just chill and im not looking for anything serious, but I feel like she’s just another pretty face who doesn’t want to do anything. How do I make the right connection with this girl and have a good relationship with her?

After getting a quick conversation going, you then want to see what time she might be available during the week so that you can figure out a time to get together. The best way I’ve found to do this, without coming across as weak, is to say something like, “Hey, I’m a little busy today and tomorrow, but I have a few days off after that, so I’m sure we can figure out a day to get together.” Or maybe this: “Yeah, I am booked during the weekend, but I have the next few days off. What’s your schedule like? I’m thinking we get together ASAP :)”


There are different ways of communicating your value through text. The timing and spelling are two ways to do it, but there are also other ways. For instance, you always want to appear as if you’re doing something. So instead of saying things like, “I am just bored, so I figured I’d give you a buzz,” say something like, “I just got home after a crazy and busy day at the office. So happy I finally got a minute to relax. What’s new with you?” Something like this tells a woman you’re a busy guy who works hard and has other priorities in his life. You’ve also asked her what’s new with her, which opens the door for a chat.
Texting her to meet up with you is pretty straightforward. You want to initiate a conversation before just asking if she wants to hang out with you. You want to text her, get a couple of texts going back and forth, and then text her about meeting up. For the first text with a girl, you want whenever possible to bring back what’s known in the dating world as “callback humor.”
I know the coming up is a killer argument for every sane and romantic action developing between a man and a woman but if you really want to understand a woman you have to keep in mind biology. While a man basically wants to get his “Seeds” (let’s say nicely <3) into the world out there a women biologically spoken (and we are all slaves to our hormones) is looking for a guy who is a good hunter (mammoth no other girls), who feeds her, takes care of her and her future children (sorry guys but this is the original basic reason why people have sex) – I know stone age has passed (has it really?). Well, take this as an inspiration only, please.
Ask the girl questions about herself, such as her hobbies, what sorts of music she likes, and what she did over the weekend. Try to care about what she says, even if it does not sound very interesting to you. Lastly, compliment her achievements and looks, but only if she mentions them (ie: comments on a test score or shows you a picture). If you compliment her too much, you might come off as creepy instead.

What in the case when it is a long time kind of a friend, and you sent her a long well composed letter in email, in a nice manner but dealing with the relationship between the two of you- so kind of a “though” issue for a guy, and you kindly asked the person to take her time thinking, but you definitely expect a reply/reaction. She did not reply in over 2 weeks, and she has a history of trying to avoid confrontation esp on emotional matters, however the contact was generally nice, and on practical issues she always replied messages?


They either try to play this super cool guy, who they really aren’t in person, or they’ll say really over-the-top things, really ballsy things, pretending like they’re that kind of guy. In person, they’re as quiet as a mouse and would never dare repeat any of the things they talked about in text messages. Basically, they’ll talk a big game but in no way at all can they even pretend to back it up in person.
My only remark: I’d personally not wish to hear that he is soooo busy and has been too busy to call me before (see above – oh, this might be the reason why I have not answered your texts 😉) but I understand the intention to be not romantic but “laid back”, if I’d walk in your shoes. But from a girl’s perspective: you want to be laid back… why again? Because you feel like an idiot if she says no? And then you can say “Oh I really was not interested and just called because I was bored”. (?) No, really I personally don’t get it. From my experience guys who really dare, expose and are courageous are always appreciated more than these “cool/busy guys” (girls know instinctively if you are REALLY busy or just making it up to seem more interesting 😉 – trust me on this, we have to care for babies – instinct is our job). So don’t be afraid, after all men want sex, OK got it, but girls want sex, too – so what’s the point. It’s OK to ask a date. If she says no she is not worth it since she does not SEE you – another girl will, don’t worry.
What about this strategy: Be natural. Follow your instinct. If I text a guy and he does not respond fastly a couple of times I start not to respond fastly either as an act of revenge. This is odd but still true. So be available in the beginning (we don’t think you are creepy! We love it!) and if we are not responsive then (and only then) slow down. But don’t come up with patterns and rules – it really does not make sense, sorry. It is a very typical male thinking approach. Women’s brains don’t work like that – at least if they are > 15 years. If you want to play cards of brain usage and stereotypes and giving general gender according advise then man are rational and women are emotional. So no patterns for us. It’s true: mind the dosage – don’t stalk her. But if she is available be yourself.
Before I found this website I was texting this girl and I was using step #12 like sending kissy faces to her when I told her goodnight and she sent them back. So If anyone was wondering some girls do like that. Actually most. But everytime I text her she takes a long time to reply. I have even heard some of her friends say she takes a long time to reply to them too. Idk what to do or why she does it.
When it comes to flirting with girls, everything is getting even harder, since it’s impossible to predict their reaction. You have to be 100% sure that the time and words are right. All we can do to help you write a good flirty SMS is to give a few nice examples of flirty text messages written specifically for ladies. But it’s only up to you to decide what to send your sweetheart, because you know her better.
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