So summon your coolest, manliest voice, and dial the phone. Don’t have a fake voice, but have your best one ready when you hear that beep and leave your message, something along the lines of, “Hey, Ashley, I’ve been really busy the last week or so. I’ve been jammed with work and everything else. I’m finally going to have some time off soon! I figured I’d drop you a line and see how you were doing. Talk to you soon. Bye!”
Start with a warm and simple line that feels good to read. It leaves the conversation open and you’ll be able to know if she’s free to chat too. “Hi”, “Hey, what are you doing?” or even just a smiley face should work perfectly to start a conversation and bring a smile on her face. If she’s busy, she’ll tell you or respond when she has the time. There’s no way you can go wrong with that.
I’m not saying not to say edgy, funny, even risqué things through text—in fact, I encourage this. All I’m saying is keep it to the edgy, funny, and risqué things that actually come out of your mouth from time to time. Be willing to say those things again to her in person. It will work out great for you if you can develop a game where you can say gutsy statements through text and then back them up in person.
There are different ways of communicating your value through text. The timing and spelling are two ways to do it, but there are also other ways. For instance, you always want to appear as if you’re doing something. So instead of saying things like, “I am just bored, so I figured I’d give you a buzz,” say something like, “I just got home after a crazy and busy day at the office. So happy I finally got a minute to relax. What’s new with you?” Something like this tells a woman you’re a busy guy who works hard and has other priorities in his life. You’ve also asked her what’s new with her, which opens the door for a chat.
When figuring out what to text a girl it can be tough to take your time texting a woman, especially when you’re really interested in her, and it seems counter-intuitive to think that by waiting (and potentially making her upset) you’re actually making her more interested in you. But it works. If she flips the script and takes forever to get back to you, and you (like I do) get anxious waiting for her reply, just put down your phone and do something fun.
After all, no one knows your marriage or your spouse better than you do. Texting affairs are the gateway to emotional and physical affairs. Of the infidelity cases I've dealt with in the past several years, the vast majority started out as "innocent" texting between opposite-sex friends or acquaintances. You are not over-reacting by insisting that a spouse end a texting relationship that you feel in your heart is undermining your marriage, and you are not over-reacting by treating it as a form of infidelity.
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There’s no excuse for not sounding charming and hilarious over text. Limiting your conversations to lots of “haha!” and “cool” will lead her to believe that either you’re too lazy or just not funny—and that’s when your chances of scoring plummet. So throw out a line from Wedding Crashers or send a picture of Beauty and the Beast (“Us?”)—seriously, anything. Leave the simple texts for your mom.