After all, no one knows your marriage or your spouse better than you do. Texting affairs are the gateway to emotional and physical affairs. Of the infidelity cases I've dealt with in the past several years, the vast majority started out as "innocent" texting between opposite-sex friends or acquaintances. You are not over-reacting by insisting that a spouse end a texting relationship that you feel in your heart is undermining your marriage, and you are not over-reacting by treating it as a form of infidelity.
My only remark: I’d personally not wish to hear that he is soooo busy and has been too busy to call me before (see above – oh, this might be the reason why I have not answered your texts 😉) but I understand the intention to be not romantic but “laid back”, if I’d walk in your shoes. But from a girl’s perspective: you want to be laid back… why again? Because you feel like an idiot if she says no? And then you can say “Oh I really was not interested and just called because I was bored”. (?) No, really I personally don’t get it. From my experience guys who really dare, expose and are courageous are always appreciated more than these “cool/busy guys” (girls know instinctively if you are REALLY busy or just making it up to seem more interesting 😉 – trust me on this, we have to care for babies – instinct is our job). So don’t be afraid, after all men want sex, OK got it, but girls want sex, too – so what’s the point. It’s OK to ask a date. If she says no she is not worth it since she does not SEE you – another girl will, don’t worry.
When the question of what to text a girl comes up, smiley faces are good in my book. I like to use them here and there just to lighten things up with a woman. Some dating coaches wouldn’t recommend doing this, but I disagree. A proper smiley face can put more meaning to something you text. After all, when you send a text, you don’t really have the luxury of fully expressing yourself through voice tone and changes of body language the way you would in person. So sometimes, when you say something she might take as being serious through text, if you just throw in a smiley face at the end, it can completely change the mood of the text.
Could there please be a blog post on how to apply the principles of being feminine and high value to a long term live-in relationship? I love this blog, and it’s helped me so much (thanks Kat!), I just haven’t seen much on this topic and would love to learn more (I also am pretty broke right now, so reading the blog is all I can afford at this time, even though I have bought the book).

First of all, as a girl, I feel that this may be rather accurate advice, since I know many girls who actually respond positively to these things. However, keep in mind that not all girls will have the same reaction. I myself am an example. Maybe it is conservative of me, but naughty texts are an outright no unless you are certain she likes you already. I also don’t have a preference towards pet names– stick to my name, or my gamer tag please. However, I do agree on being interested in her life. We’re narcisstic beings, we love talking about ourselves. Be empathetic, and don’t shorten your words. Be sweet and caring, but not too mushy, since it can be a turn off. Don’t try ti act too cute either, because that makes girls like me cringe. I don’t know how many girls have the same attitude towards things like this as I do, but I do hope that my wall of text may help some of you guys. Try them out if thr article doesn’????t work for you. I wish you all the best of luck!


Ask the girl questions about herself, such as her hobbies, what sorts of music she likes, and what she did over the weekend. Try to care about what she says, even if it does not sound very interesting to you. Lastly, compliment her achievements and looks, but only if she mentions them (ie: comments on a test score or shows you a picture). If you compliment her too much, you might come off as creepy instead.
If she takes, say, half an hour to reply back to your initial text, and you reply within a minute or two of her response, you come off as very needy. (You also come off as a bit creepy, like you were just staring at your phone like some kind of Fatal Attraction-type character, just waiting for her to answer you, and when she did, you answered her right away.)
I like a girl, I started conversation, then I helped her for her studies, and for the exchanging material she gave me her no. too. and even through text I’ve started conversation, but she doesn’t reply in full sentances, she is not textually active. and doesn’t chat much. I want to know whether she likes me or not? want to chat her for longer time. take this relationship beyond friendship. what to do please suggest me some workable Ideas… here, thanx.
But that's not always the case. Suspicions are often warranted. Anger, defensiveness and indignation may be covers for betrayal. Explanations may be just excuses. And all too often, a texting affair steals so much time, energy and emotion from a marriage that a rift forms -- or widens -- between spouses that otherwise would have worked through their marriage troubles.

i have been friends with this one girl, and i have liked her since the very first day i met her, i then told her how i feel about her and she said she feels the same way. we had a few moments, not too serious moments but when i asked her to take our friendship to the next level she turned me down. So what should i do to try win her over completely?

My only remark: I’d personally not wish to hear that he is soooo busy and has been too busy to call me before (see above – oh, this might be the reason why I have not answered your texts 😉) but I understand the intention to be not romantic but “laid back”, if I’d walk in your shoes. But from a girl’s perspective: you want to be laid back… why again? Because you feel like an idiot if she says no? And then you can say “Oh I really was not interested and just called because I was bored”. (?) No, really I personally don’t get it. From my experience guys who really dare, expose and are courageous are always appreciated more than these “cool/busy guys” (girls know instinctively if you are REALLY busy or just making it up to seem more interesting 😉 – trust me on this, we have to care for babies – instinct is our job). So don’t be afraid, after all men want sex, OK got it, but girls want sex, too – so what’s the point. It’s OK to ask a date. If she says no she is not worth it since she does not SEE you – another girl will, don’t worry.
Simply put, an implanted command is a part of the sentence which has a hidden message for the reader/listener. They are not direct, but they let the reader know what they should be doing next, and they feel it is their own idea though. Through the use of implanted commands, you can plant some thoughts in the married woman’s mind. She may just play along, and you will have an idea of how far would she go.
What about this strategy: Be natural. Follow your instinct. If I text a guy and he does not respond fastly a couple of times I start not to respond fastly either as an act of revenge. This is odd but still true. So be available in the beginning (we don’t think you are creepy! We love it!) and if we are not responsive then (and only then) slow down. But don’t come up with patterns and rules – it really does not make sense, sorry. It is a very typical male thinking approach. Women’s brains don’t work like that – at least if they are > 15 years. If you want to play cards of brain usage and stereotypes and giving general gender according advise then man are rational and women are emotional. So no patterns for us. It’s true: mind the dosage – don’t stalk her. But if she is available be yourself.
My only remark: I’d personally not wish to hear that he is soooo busy and has been too busy to call me before (see above – oh, this might be the reason why I have not answered your texts 😉) but I understand the intention to be not romantic but “laid back”, if I’d walk in your shoes. But from a girl’s perspective: you want to be laid back… why again? Because you feel like an idiot if she says no? And then you can say “Oh I really was not interested and just called because I was bored”. (?) No, really I personally don’t get it. From my experience guys who really dare, expose and are courageous are always appreciated more than these “cool/busy guys” (girls know instinctively if you are REALLY busy or just making it up to seem more interesting 😉 – trust me on this, we have to care for babies – instinct is our job). So don’t be afraid, after all men want sex, OK got it, but girls want sex, too – so what’s the point. It’s OK to ask a date. If she says no she is not worth it since she does not SEE you – another girl will, don’t worry.
I know the coming up is a killer argument for every sane and romantic action developing between a man and a woman but if you really want to understand a woman you have to keep in mind biology. While a man basically wants to get his “Seeds” (let’s say nicely <3) into the world out there a women biologically spoken (and we are all slaves to our hormones) is looking for a guy who is a good hunter (mammoth no other girls), who feeds her, takes care of her and her future children (sorry guys but this is the original basic reason why people have sex) – I know stone age has passed (has it really?). Well, take this as an inspiration only, please.
I’d recommend not to wait to long to text the first time, either. Generally there is also nothing wrong about picking up the phone and just call! Seriously. We like guys with guts, texting all the time is – sorry – girlish – and this article shows you are over-strained with it 😉 – as first mover you chose your terrain, move where you feel comfortable. Be present, be there, show up, expose, we like to hear your voices.
I had a crush on one my college mate who already been in a relationship. knowing the fact i stupidly proposed her being emotional,then apologized to her over a thousands times. Actually she was moving very close to me so i took it as she too likes me. Since from that day she never spoke a word to me she never replies to me,its been almost an year now can some one get me an idea to get her back as i love her soo much still.
HI Justin that was a great article. most say all this stuff leading up to things and never giver the answer, you tell it all. so i know Online Dating is a bit different. and a hole other monster. but how does this apply to Online and how do you go about Online? i see you mention the longer you wait to get back to her the better it is for you. one time i did what you said and i was in the middle of typing A Woman trying to get that sent off. it said A Woman wants to Chat that i was trying to connect with then 15 minutes later or so she views me. when i finally went to her profile she was gone. she closed her account or deactivated it. it seems some Woman want you to reply right away.. i know every Woman is different. so how do you go about this and get great results? i have A Woman i’m connecting with..
The only thing worse than the head-slamming hangover resulting from your Saturday night blackout is the pang of horror that hits you when recollecting the texts you sent the night before. Whichever disastrous message outcome came from combining mistakes ten (wazup wher chi at) and three (send me a pic of that ass), chances are she can no longer take you seriously—or thinks you’re a pig.
Hey guys I’m hoping someone can help me out with the situation I’m in, I met this girl one night and we went back to her place stayed up for hours talking and in the morning I grabbed her number. Me and her are both 25 and she has a five-year-old daughter she works night shift and having a kid I understand she’s really busy. so I texted her in the evening and she keeps the messages short. I feel we had a good initial connection and if there is such thing as love at first sight this would be it 🙂 I haven’t text her for a couple days now, any advice that people can give me would be appreciated
I need urgent help. I have this girlfriend I was dating, before she traveled abroad to study, we promised to get married to each other. I love her so much that am so afraid to lose her. she said am too clingy, she blocked me on whatsapp today after we had some arguments although she’s still my friend on facebook, please someone tell me what to do, I don’t want to lose her. before she blocked me she said am tripping and being a psycho, am so confused.
Bad guy (if you are not) just somehow always works best. They live for mysterious. Cool. dont give a shit guy. You send something stupid like (how was your day or what you up to) you are automatic boring unoriginal and not what any girl looks for. Just send her something like above and if she is remotely interested she will respond to that. Even it is shit and not who you really. Are
Know when it's time to end the conversation. If you want to keep your girl interested, then you should stop your texting sessions at the right time, or she'll get bored with your lengthy exchanges. Whether the girl seems busy or if you simply have nothing left to say: it's important to know when to stop texting her and try again later. Here are some signs that you should end the conversation:[4]

Very good point. I’d even add that “how r u, I want 2 meet u” does not vex me because I think it’s a childish way but because the guy shows me I am not worth for him to take the time to write “you”. I admit it’s creepy but generally if someone who is not a real friend writes to me at the end of a text LG instead on “Liebe Grüße” (German for kind regard) I think this person is lazy and does not really care about me (and each time I wonder: why do I think this? But I do!).

2) Start using her error to make a fool out of her – most spelling errors are made because she didn´t pretty a key often enough… so she says “rtop” instead of stop, “stnp” instead of stop. Quite often she was trying to type the second or the third letter on the key, didn´t, but didn´t see it… excellent opportunities for playful teasing if you ask me. Some examples:
You all seem way too needy. It’s okay though, we all get that sometimes. Work on improving yourself first, before you try and bring another person into your life. Sure, easier said than done and we all sometimes crave the opposite sex. it’s natural. But overthinking and over analyzing every little thing you say, or every little thing she/he says is slowly killing your chances. This is hard to overcome, I, myself am still working on it constantly.

#13 Get dirty when you can. Border on dirty texts with her now and then, and watch how she responds. If she texts you and asks you what you’re doing, tell her that you were up to something naughty. Make her think of you in the nude or give her occasions to talk naughty. A good way to initiate a naughty conversation is by telling her that you just stepped out of the shower, or by telling her that you’re trying out a few new clothes you picked up last week at the mall. [Read: 20 dirty questions to text a girl and make her wet]
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