I need urgent help. I have this girlfriend I was dating, before she traveled abroad to study, we promised to get married to each other. I love her so much that am so afraid to lose her. she said am too clingy, she blocked me on whatsapp today after we had some arguments although she’s still my friend on facebook, please someone tell me what to do, I don’t want to lose her. before she blocked me she said am tripping and being a psycho, am so confused.
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Both of these examples show her that you have other plans and other things on your plate. They put more value on your time and make her want to spend some of hers with you. They also give you a good idea about what her schedule is like and when she will be available to hang out. From there, you can just pick one of the days she’s free and set up a time, place, and activity.


I would say that yes, it’s likely normal considering you pointed out that even though she is fluent in English, she isn’t well written. Perhaps she realizes this about herself and texting is a source of insecurity for her. If that is the case, I can assure you that she is spending more time analyzing her OWN behavior and response than she is thinking about how much time has passed since she responded. Secondly, how do you handle it? You don’t. Be patient with her. She’ll respond when she can. If you feel texting is really getting in the way of healthy communication, you do have her phone number and she indeed has a phone – pick it up and call her. A lot easier and much less confusing for everyone involved.

Referring to someone you just met as “hun/sweetheart” seems borderline creepy to me. It’s too superficial. If I received this reference towards me in a text before even a second date, I would not answer, or if I answered I’d let the guy know “thanks but no thanks”. Perhaps that’s just me. Instead, in the first text you can just refer to me by my name. Subsequently, you don’t really need to address me directly, just say “Hey” then continue on with your text. After a couple of successful dates (meaning you were both smiling and/or laughing at times, and both seemed to enjoy the dates) the nicknames and cute references like “sweetheart” will feel more natural and fitting.

I just read your whole book last night, and I never felt so enlightened in all my life. There were so many things in it I realized before, but I never believed before I read your book. Then I thought about it and realized that way you said guys should act is the exact same way my friends who score a lot act. Thanks a lot for writing it, if you are ever in Pittsburgh I’ll buy you a beer (but no kissing)…

Minor things like punctuation are not as important as the spelling itself. If you’re trying to “speak” a certain way and you want to emphasize something, it’s okay to use three or four exclamation points. If she doesn’t use any punctuation at the end of her sentences, then you don’t really have to use it either. It’s not really a factor at all. At the end of the day, it really all comes down to the way she texts and the way you mirror that.
Could there please be a blog post on how to apply the principles of being feminine and high value to a long term live-in relationship? I love this blog, and it’s helped me so much (thanks Kat!), I just haven’t seen much on this topic and would love to learn more (I also am pretty broke right now, so reading the blog is all I can afford at this time, even though I have bought the book).
You have to understand that women are not like this. Women check you out and know usually after 10 minutes (most of the time it takes much less, though) if you interest her or not. If yes, it will be easy for you. If not of course you can awoke her interest (again) – but basically if she did not react/text back it means: (1) she likes you but it is a bad moment (2) she thinks you are not what she wants/needs (right now). So IF you manage to get into the game AGAIN by using a trick or so-called technique, be aware that you must pull out of the hut more than one joke or some semi-offensive provocation. It is true: when a guy is not very attractive for a girl he can still go anywhere with the right mindset. Girls are mental. So generally provocation might work but you are on a stony road there – be prepared.
Even though flirting is a big part of dating, it’s often easier said than done. Will you say the wrong thing? Will you come off as cheesy? Will they misinterpret your motives? And flirting over text message can be even harder, considering your crush can’t hear your tone or see your facial expression. But there are actually a lot of positives to flirting over text. For starters, you can take your time to say the perfect thing. And the barrier may actually allow you to open up more than you would in person.
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