Hey guys, im having trouble, a lot… So, there’s this girl, she’s older than me, just one year, but we are 15-16 so it looks weird, but still, she was my best friend when i was about 13, i started texting her again, and on school she usually looks at me and throws me kisses, hugs me every morning, so yeah, i text her, but its too hard, she’s too reserved, so i talked to her why she was like that with me, she told me “i don’t like texting too much, i preffer calls” , but everytime i call her she’s busy or with her friends… when i text her something funny or a fact, she answers with “jajaja”, I know alot about her and she knows a lot about me, but its hard to keep a conversation with her, i don’t know what to ask… Any help? Thanks!
This last text technique has really worked well in the past for me and for my students. Basically, you want to qualify her and call her out in a funny way for not wanting to hang out with you. You can say something like, “What’s up sweetheart? Are you going to hang out this week, or are you going to keep being a Diddler?” Now, before you laugh and say, what a ridiculous thing to say, hear me out.
Using “lol” is a similar thing I like to do and recommend. It’s basically the same idea as the smiley face and can also be used to lighten the mood. A good “lol” placed in a text message shows a woman you’re making a joke. It’s not literally meant to mean that you’re “laughing out loud,” but it has transformed more into meaning that you’re joking or find something funny. (The same thing could be said for using “haha” as this is interchangeable with “lol.”)
HI Justin i’m new to seeing your stuff. i agree with you but i tried some things you’ve said that i tried for Online Dating.and nothing happens! i get NO response. Women only View me. i found something that had a affect. if a Woman removes her photo and it’s just a silhouette i say Sorry was it something i said? Holds*Head in Shame Lol* and the photo pops up or i say i see you looked at my profile and didn’t respond, was it my Brad Pitt looks or was it my soulful eye’s and this Woman was in my Inbox with the Heart showing love. i get NO responses but if i say the one about Brad Pitt that seems to have a affect. what is it that get’s A Woman to respond, on a Dating Site? i do a lot of research on what get’s A response. i see some good tips but the Women don’t respond, i like what you wrote. it seems that what Advice is being given does not work. or only so far. any Advice for a positive, outcome. i look forward to your message. Sincerely Dana!
Typing errors are common when you are texting someone. So, in case your woman texts you and it has some of these errors, you can use it to your advantage. Pull her leg for those typing errors and make the relationship between you two jovial. But do not overdo this, lest she will start seeing you as her grammar teacher and not someone who is interested in her.
Minor things like punctuation are not as important as the spelling itself. If you’re trying to “speak” a certain way and you want to emphasize something, it’s okay to use three or four exclamation points. If she doesn’t use any punctuation at the end of her sentences, then you don’t really have to use it either. It’s not really a factor at all. At the end of the day, it really all comes down to the way she texts and the way you mirror that.
Text messages can give you an opportunity to know the married woman better. Therefore, do not just flirt with her via the messages, but also try to gain as much information as possible regarding her interests, her likes, dislikes and so on. If she did not turn up for the usual morning walk, ask her if she is unwell. She will feel that you care for her, even from a distance. Makes a huge plus.
Hey, there’s this girl I’ve been causal with for a while- we kiss a lot and do some other stuff, but I was wondering how to try and take it to the next level, a lot of our interaction is texting, we only see each other two days a week, she likes me as she has said so, but when we text I always seem to be trying to come up with something to say to her, what should you talk about with a girl like this ? Also she does sometines text first but when we actaully text she only answers what I ask or say- she never contributed much to the conversation- any idea why that is ?
I say loosely followed here because you don’t want to always text her eleven minutes after she texts you if she usually takes about ten minutes to text you. If you develop a pattern of taking the same amount of time to text her every time you respond back, she’ll pick up on this and know that you are literally just waiting to text her. It’s nearly as bad as texting her right away.
HI Justin that was a great article. most say all this stuff leading up to things and never giver the answer, you tell it all. so i know Online Dating is a bit different. and a hole other monster. but how does this apply to Online and how do you go about Online? i see you mention the longer you wait to get back to her the better it is for you. one time i did what you said and i was in the middle of typing A Woman trying to get that sent off. it said A Woman wants to Chat that i was trying to connect with then 15 minutes later or so she views me. when i finally went to her profile she was gone. she closed her account or deactivated it. it seems some Woman want you to reply right away.. i know every Woman is different. so how do you go about this and get great results? i have A Woman i’m connecting with..
This can be done if she has canceled plans or just doesn’t seem to want to make any real plans with you. It can also be used instead of the voice mail a few weeks after the non-reply on the two texts you sent her. It can even be used a few weeks after the voice mail, which is a few more weeks after the non-answer of texts. If she doesn’t answer this, it’s over.
Continued inaction or letting the texting continue -- perhaps out of fear of your partner's reaction -- only increases the chances that your partner will begin to see you as a nagging barrier to the exciting and fresh-faced relationship that he or she enjoys via text messages. Texting creates a false sense of intimacy between texters. Within weeks, they may feel that they have formed a deep bond. Too often what begins as a cautious "hi...was thinking of u" turns into "i miss u" and then "can you meet again tomorrow?"
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My only remark: I’d personally not wish to hear that he is soooo busy and has been too busy to call me before (see above – oh, this might be the reason why I have not answered your texts 😉) but I understand the intention to be not romantic but “laid back”, if I’d walk in your shoes. But from a girl’s perspective: you want to be laid back… why again? Because you feel like an idiot if she says no? And then you can say “Oh I really was not interested and just called because I was bored”. (?) No, really I personally don’t get it. From my experience guys who really dare, expose and are courageous are always appreciated more than these “cool/busy guys” (girls know instinctively if you are REALLY busy or just making it up to seem more interesting 😉 – trust me on this, we have to care for babies – instinct is our job). So don’t be afraid, after all men want sex, OK got it, but girls want sex, too – so what’s the point. It’s OK to ask a date. If she says no she is not worth it since she does not SEE you – another girl will, don’t worry.
These habits carried over to text messaging, and as more and more adults started texting, some of them followed a lot of the same routines as the younger generation of texters had. They intentionally misspelled words, perhaps as a way of being cool or as a way of fitting into the social norm that was developed by the younger generation of texters. (This, of course, is all just a personal theory of mine; nonetheless, my hope is that this trend ultimately stops.)
For example, if you want to tease a girl but not come across as being too serious, you can say something like “Julie! Where the hell have you been? It’s been forever since I’ve seen you :)” A text like this shows her that you’re inquiring about her and would like to know where she’s been lately. At the same time, though, you’re making a bit of a joke about her not being around, so it’s a good way to ask something semi-seriously while at the same time coming across as playful.
Another quick point about keeping her interested has to do with texting her after you’ve set up a time to hang out together. Some guys (and I did this a lot when I first started getting good with game) will stop texting her after the date is set up. This is not a good move because, like everything else mentioned before, the woman loses interest. Her chances of flaking out go up astronomically when you do something like this. A simple text of “How’s your day going, sweetheart? I hope it’s as much fun as mine is today :)” will suffice in that time between the day you set up the date and the day of it.
This example is just that, an example. It’s so much easier to come up with your own as this has no context for a real conversation and would be useless if you tried to duplicate it. Just try to understand the usefulness of “lol” here and there. Like anything else, don’t overdo it. Putting “lol” into every sentence, or even every few sentences, makes you look like a half-assed, not-so-funny, would-be comedian!
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Here's where anything can happen. Your spouse may downplay the relationship and shrug off your concerns, saying "We're just friends. You have to trust me." Or your spouse may react with an angry, inflated display of wounded indignation by saying, "Oh, so I'm not allowed to have ANY friends?" He or she may turn the situation around so that it's you who finds yourself explaining your behaviour. He or she may make you feel paranoid, jealous, controlling, or pathetic. "You went through my phone! You're crazy. That's private!"
After getting a quick conversation going, you then want to see what time she might be available during the week so that you can figure out a time to get together. The best way I’ve found to do this, without coming across as weak, is to say something like, “Hey, I’m a little busy today and tomorrow, but I have a few days off after that, so I’m sure we can figure out a day to get together.” Or maybe this: “Yeah, I am booked during the weekend, but I have the next few days off. What’s your schedule like? I’m thinking we get together ASAP :)”
Another thing you could say is, “Hey, Julie, how are you? Haven’t talked to you in a while, been wicked busy lately, but I’m getting some time off this week and would love to hear from you!” Something like this shows her that you’re busy but again opens the door for her to message you. You always want to seem like you’ve been doing a lot of things but at the same time are messaging her because you’re getting some time off and would like to spend a bit of it with her.
A lot of these one liners are really good for text messages, but you really need to do a lot more than just a one liner to set yourself apart from the rest. Remember, today’s dating world is fiercely competitive and guys are up against a lot of other guys competing for the same girl all because it’s so convenient to get in touch with one another. Online dating is just making the situation even worse, when anyone with a selfie can sign up and get spammed by hundreds of suitors in a few seconds. Keep these in reserve for after you get to know someone. The funnier ones especially: who doesn’t like to laugh?