My only remark: I’d personally not wish to hear that he is soooo busy and has been too busy to call me before (see above – oh, this might be the reason why I have not answered your texts 😉) but I understand the intention to be not romantic but “laid back”, if I’d walk in your shoes. But from a girl’s perspective: you want to be laid back… why again? Because you feel like an idiot if she says no? And then you can say “Oh I really was not interested and just called because I was bored”. (?) No, really I personally don’t get it. From my experience guys who really dare, expose and are courageous are always appreciated more than these “cool/busy guys” (girls know instinctively if you are REALLY busy or just making it up to seem more interesting 😉 – trust me on this, we have to care for babies – instinct is our job). So don’t be afraid, after all men want sex, OK got it, but girls want sex, too – so what’s the point. It’s OK to ask a date. If she says no she is not worth it since she does not SEE you – another girl will, don’t worry.
You all seem way too needy. It’s okay though, we all get that sometimes. Work on improving yourself first, before you try and bring another person into your life. Sure, easier said than done and we all sometimes crave the opposite sex. it’s natural. But overthinking and over analyzing every little thing you say, or every little thing she/he says is slowly killing your chances. This is hard to overcome, I, myself am still working on it constantly.
It’s like going to a professional job interview dressed in a tank-top and gym shorts. You come across as totally beneath her and look like a complete fool. Instead, if you’re talking to an intelligent woman, mirror her intelligence. Show her that you’re just as smart as she is by spelling words correctly and speaking with a good level of sophistication. Don’t try to be pedantic, but be her equal. Speak like her intellectual equivalent. Spell all of your words correctly, and follow good English grammar laws.
Ask the girl questions about herself, such as her hobbies, what sorts of music she likes, and what she did over the weekend. Try to care about what she says, even if it does not sound very interesting to you. Lastly, compliment her achievements and looks, but only if she mentions them (ie: comments on a test score or shows you a picture). If you compliment her too much, you might come off as creepy instead.
There’s no excuse for not sounding charming and hilarious over text. Limiting your conversations to lots of “haha!” and “cool” will lead her to believe that either you’re too lazy or just not funny—and that’s when your chances of scoring plummet. So throw out a line from Wedding Crashers or send a picture of Beauty and the Beast (“Us?”)—seriously, anything. Leave the simple texts for your mom.
What in the case when it is a long time kind of a friend, and you sent her a long well composed letter in email, in a nice manner but dealing with the relationship between the two of you- so kind of a “though” issue for a guy, and you kindly asked the person to take her time thinking, but you definitely expect a reply/reaction. She did not reply in over 2 weeks, and she has a history of trying to avoid confrontation esp on emotional matters, however the contact was generally nice, and on practical issues she always replied messages?
Instead of the first message, perhaps make a reference to your first meeting. Maybe something like “Those whiskey sours at the bar were so good, weren’t they? Looking forward to having drinks soon” – that is if you both happened to be drinking whiskey sours when you met, but the point is to make a reference to where you met/something you were doing in common, but make it brief…you don’t want to go too into details and come across as stalkerish!

Could there please be a blog post on how to apply the principles of being feminine and high value to a long term live-in relationship? I love this blog, and it’s helped me so much (thanks Kat!), I just haven’t seen much on this topic and would love to learn more (I also am pretty broke right now, so reading the blog is all I can afford at this time, even though I have bought the book).

Presumably, you’ll text her within a few hours as you really don’t want to wait too long here. Even if she didn’t respond to your first text with your name in it (because that was just your way of giving your number to her and familiarizes you more), you want to say something like, “Hey Katie, it was great to meet you today, can’t wait to grab a drink with you soon :)” Or, “Hey sweetheart, I had fun meeting you today, soooo can’t wait to go rollerblading tomorrow!”
Even though flirting is a big part of dating, it’s often easier said than done. Will you say the wrong thing? Will you come off as cheesy? Will they misinterpret your motives? And flirting over text message can be even harder, considering your crush can’t hear your tone or see your facial expression. But there are actually a lot of positives to flirting over text. For starters, you can take your time to say the perfect thing. And the barrier may actually allow you to open up more than you would in person.
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