They either try to play this super cool guy, who they really aren’t in person, or they’ll say really over-the-top things, really ballsy things, pretending like they’re that kind of guy. In person, they’re as quiet as a mouse and would never dare repeat any of the things they talked about in text messages. Basically, they’ll talk a big game but in no way at all can they even pretend to back it up in person.
#6 Keep it short and simple. Try to keep the texts short if you want to keep the conversation going. Your focus is to get her to keep all her attention on you when she’s texting. And to do that, you need to keep the beeping texts going back and forth as soon as you can. Long texts can leave her bored when she’s waiting for you to respond. Or worse, she may occupy herself with the television or do something else that’ll leave her distracted while waiting for your text.
There’s no excuse for not sounding charming and hilarious over text. Limiting your conversations to lots of “haha!” and “cool” will lead her to believe that either you’re too lazy or just not funny—and that’s when your chances of scoring plummet. So throw out a line from Wedding Crashers or send a picture of Beauty and the Beast (“Us?”)—seriously, anything. Leave the simple texts for your mom.
After getting a quick conversation going, you then want to see what time she might be available during the week so that you can figure out a time to get together. The best way I’ve found to do this, without coming across as weak, is to say something like, “Hey, I’m a little busy today and tomorrow, but I have a few days off after that, so I’m sure we can figure out a day to get together.” Or maybe this: “Yeah, I am booked during the weekend, but I have the next few days off. What’s your schedule like? I’m thinking we get together ASAP :)”
Abbreviations show a clear lack of effort, say Debra Goldstein and Olivia Baniuszewicz, digital dating experts and co-authors of Flirtexting. “Texting is a casual platform, but you still have to be somewhat buttoned up.” So spelling at the level of a 7th grader neither charms nor entertains—unless you send, “Sup, u out?” This gem evokes laughter from all women—just at you, not with you. Eli Manning’s SNL sketch sums it up.
For a while, you bite your tongue. After all, nobody wants to be "that wife" or "that husband." You look the other way and pretend not to notice or be bothered. You force yourself to not ask who your spouse is texting and not show how worried or hurt you are. You lay awake and stare at your partner's phone, wishing you could look through it but not wanting to cross that line.
Unless of course you’re supposed to be meeting up with her on said day, and she’s ignoring your texts. If this is the case, then by all means blow up her phone and make sure that she is still planning to hang out with you. If she blows you off then and does not apologize later that day or even the next (give her 24 hours to come up with the greatest sob story and excuse of all time!), then DELETE her number and delete her as a potential lover. She’s not worth your time and energy. Move on to someone else who is.
Take note of how long your conversations last. If they're long, maybe even lasting a few hours, then there's a chance she likes you! If you think she's putting just as much effort into continuing the conversation as you are, that's also a good sign. Don't forget to take a break on always texting her first. If she texts you after a few days, then it could mean she longs for you to talk to her or she's thinking of you. If you can, see how much she texts or how much she usually texts other friends and see if you're special to her. Try to let her know that you text her more than other people if you can; it will make her feel special!
After all, no one knows your marriage or your spouse better than you do. Texting affairs are the gateway to emotional and physical affairs. Of the infidelity cases I've dealt with in the past several years, the vast majority started out as "innocent" texting between opposite-sex friends or acquaintances. You are not over-reacting by insisting that a spouse end a texting relationship that you feel in your heart is undermining your marriage, and you are not over-reacting by treating it as a form of infidelity.
When you send a blank text message and get an instant reply to it from the married woman, then it means she is definitely interested in you and wants to know you more. She may reply back with something like a ‘?’ or ‘Hey, did you send this to me by mistake?’ A blank text will give you an opportunity to initiate and shape the conversation, according to your desires and wishes.

You all seem way too needy. It’s okay though, we all get that sometimes. Work on improving yourself first, before you try and bring another person into your life. Sure, easier said than done and we all sometimes crave the opposite sex. it’s natural. But overthinking and over analyzing every little thing you say, or every little thing she/he says is slowly killing your chances. This is hard to overcome, I, myself am still working on it constantly.
I soon started setting aside periods of time throughout the day where I would just put my phone down for a couple of hours, whether or not I was in the midst of talking to a woman, just to give myself a rest from it. If someone called or texted me, I wouldn’t know, so I wouldn’t care. I’d simply check my phone later on for missed calls or messages, when I was ready to have it at hand again.
This book should be required reading for all men before they’re allowed to talk to women. The more I use the attitude and tips that you wrote in your book, the more women respond to me. It’s amazing. Who knew that you could actually learn to be more successful with women from a book? And your two bonus reports are truly amazing. They are probably the most profound insights about meeting women that I’ve ever seen or heard of…
They either try to play this super cool guy, who they really aren’t in person, or they’ll say really over-the-top things, really ballsy things, pretending like they’re that kind of guy. In person, they’re as quiet as a mouse and would never dare repeat any of the things they talked about in text messages. Basically, they’ll talk a big game but in no way at all can they even pretend to back it up in person.
Be engaging. Show your girl that you're capable of keeping up a fun conversation over the phone. In turn, she'll think that you can hold up your end of a conversation in person. Your goal in texting the girl you like is giving her just a sliver of your personality and making her want more. If you fascinate the girl, she'll keep wanting to talk to you. Here's how to do it:
On the day of the date, you want to shoot her a text, preferably early in the day and long before you’re going to meet up. This ensures you that it’s still on and tells her that you’re still in. She’s most likely doing the same thing that you are: waiting for that text so that you both know for sure that you’re both still in and not going to flake. By doing this, you almost guarantee a no-flake scenario between the two of you.
The first thing I will do if she does not answer my text, and I know (just by the way she was texting me before) that she definitely received it by now, is send a text like this, “K sounds good lol” or even one like this, “All right hun that sounds Awesome lol.” Both of these make light of the fact that she didn’t answer you. They are short and sweet. They do not blow it out of proportion that she ignored you. Instead, they make a joke out of it, and they usually work to get a response.
My only remark: I’d personally not wish to hear that he is soooo busy and has been too busy to call me before (see above – oh, this might be the reason why I have not answered your texts 😉) but I understand the intention to be not romantic but “laid back”, if I’d walk in your shoes. But from a girl’s perspective: you want to be laid back… why again? Because you feel like an idiot if she says no? And then you can say “Oh I really was not interested and just called because I was bored”. (?) No, really I personally don’t get it. From my experience guys who really dare, expose and are courageous are always appreciated more than these “cool/busy guys” (girls know instinctively if you are REALLY busy or just making it up to seem more interesting 😉 – trust me on this, we have to care for babies – instinct is our job). So don’t be afraid, after all men want sex, OK got it, but girls want sex, too – so what’s the point. It’s OK to ask a date. If she says no she is not worth it since she does not SEE you – another girl will, don’t worry.
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#15 Get mushy before saying goodbye. Compliment her appearance, her personality or say anything that makes her feel warm and fuzzy inside. But focus on these texts a few minutes before both of you say goodbye. If you want her to fall for you, she has to get sexually excited by you and then has to feel romantically attached to you. That’s the way love and infatuation works. [Read: Tips to subtly touch a girl and turn her on]
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